Henry HoltThis is excerpted from Phil Elwood’s upcoming book, “All The Worst Humans: How I Made News for Dictators, Tycoons, and Politicians,” a chronicle of the underbelly of public relations in Washington, D.C., which will be published June 25 by Henry Holt. My cab heads across the underside of Foggy Bottom and stops in front of the Watergate Hotel. The driver hands me a blank receipt. Blank cab receipts are the joy of every expense-accounted staffer in DC. An eight-dollar cab ride can transform into a fifty-dollar trip to the airport. I go to the airport a lot. The Watergate’s exterior looks like ribbons flowing in the wind. Once a posh address, the Watergate is slowly dying. Bob Dole used to live here; now the highlight is the Safeway in the basement. DC’s zone-based taxi fare system was influenced by Dole, who wanted to ensure that he could ride from his residence in the Watergate complex to his Senate office in a one-zone ride. I’m stressed because Peter Brown called me an hour ago and said, “You need to get down to the Libyan embassy.” Lately, Brown has developed a penchant for calling at all hours with orders. Orders to jump on the next plane out of town. Orders to put out a fire. Or to light a match. “What happened?” I asked. “Our client is very happy,” Brown said. “But the world will be very displeased.” Inside the Watergate’s office building, I head through a nondescript door into a suite full of Libyan flags and portraits of Muammar Gaddafi. The embassy’s décor is tacky, stuck in the 1980s. Everything about the Gaddafis is stuck in the ’80s—and covered in layers of cigarette smoke. Ambassador Ali Suleiman Aujali invites me to sit down at an oval desk. Last time I was here, we had Donald Trump on speakerphone setting up a game of golf for the Libyan ambassador. “I gotta ask. Why did you pick the Watergate?” I say once I’m seated. “It was available,” Aujali replies. “I’d imagine,” I say. “Nothing shady has ever happened here.” |